If everyone took an eye for an eye, the whole world would be blind...

Trayvon Martin...another young black life shot down too early. And yet, all too much of a common occurrence...

How many people remember Yummi Sandifer? Ramarley Graham? Cynteria Phillips? Sherrice Iverson?...

How many of those names do you know? How many more are there? What's my point? My point is that this is going on all the time. And no, not everyone of these kid's lives were cut short in the same way, but they did have some similar details. Black youths killed by white people in horrible ways. My point is IT HAS TO STOP. Has to. Stop. Now.

Being a Native American woman that passes for white on a daily basis, I am privy to the conversations of people who dont understand the culture (white) in a way that most people may not be. Being married to black man and having children of mixed race my senses are even more heightened, more alert, more protective.

Let me tell you something that we all think but no one will officially confirm or say out loud. Most people who don't understand the culture don't like us. At all. They smile in our face and stab us in the back at the same time. "I have black friends, I know black people" What a racist statement. EVERYONE knows a black person you know why? Cuz we are everywhere! You probably work with one of us! (yes I am including myself in the black people pool) But are you really a friend of black & interracial people? That is the question. I'll tell you a story...I worked for a prominent retail store that makes billions of dollars per year. I was an assistant manager. My coworker and I were standing at the registers one day when a group of black teenagers walked into the store. They seemed normal enough for me especially in the inner city of Chicago. My coworker turns to me and says "man, I HATE black people". O_o Really? This is the same coworker who has met my husband and children, showering them with compliments on their hair, skin, and features. I tried to give her my most calm unfazed poker face, and then it must have hit her. "Oh, well not all of them, uhh, you know what I mean, just the bad ones." O_o Correct me if I'm wrong, but shouldn't we all show a dislike for all things bad, regardless of color?

Something I have noticed throughout my life is the grave misunderstanding that white people have for the black culture. Things that might seem threatening to a white person are normal and commonplace for a black person. The culture is so different that most white poeple who are not in contact with black poeple on a regular basis cannot even understand what black people say. It's sad, and what is even sadder is that this type of cutural difference is what leads to senseless deaths like this. Trayvon was carrying candy and tea while he walked home from the store. His crime was having black skin and having his hoodie up.

Last month my husband and I took a trip to New Orleans. On the way down we stopped at a small gas station in Mississippi. My husband walked in the store in a rush because he had to use the bathroom. He had his hoodie up because it was very cold in the van we were driving in and cold ouside as well. In Mississippi regular citizens can carry weapons on their person. This white man (security for the station) who was wearing a pistol on his side, approached my husband and got in his face. He told my husband to take his hood off. My husband, while doing the peepee dance, asked why. The white man said "it's bosses rules, we have to see your face". My husband said "you're looking at my face right now and that white boy in line has his hoodie up AND a baseball cap on". O_o By this time the peepee dance was making the white man nervous and I saw him put his hand on his pistol. I walked up to my husband and said "baby, just take it off ok?" To think I could have lost him that night, over misunderstanding, brings tears to my eyes. It would have been another senseless killing over the color of my husband's skin and his hoodie and the peepee dance.

I will not pose the question of why are we all getting up in arms over another death when in 3 weeks the story will be less sensationalized by the media and Trayvon Martin will be another name in history. I choose not to pose that question because we DO need to be getting upset. We need to get so upset that we effect a change. One that has never happened before. Facebook pics of people in hoodies is not enough. Marches are a start and so are rallies.

My children are of mixed race and if they were senselessly killed because of their skin color, or any other reason for that matter, I would be beside myself. I don't know what I would do. Would I be mad? YES. Would I want to exact revenge? YES. Would I want the killer brought to justice and hung from his toenails in a public square while he was killed slowly and methodically? YES. But we cannot do that, nor should we.

Right now we must take the MLK Jr path and exact change with our minds. We must out think this formidable foe, the white man and his violence. In our ancient tribes, both African and Native American, there were no senseless killings. Every death had a purpose. This is the work and teachings of the white man. To kill someone you don't like for whatever particular reason.

WE must effect change by any civil means necessary. And we cannot let this story be forgotten in 2 or 3 weeks. We must wear Trayvon on our sleeves, carry him in our hearts, and live his legacy through our own.

As the old saying goes, the best revenge is a life well lived.

What can you do in your community to effect change?...You can...

Live, Love, Laugh, and TEACH our youth the right way. Be a mentor to all youths you come in contact with. Teach them that every person they meet on their journey through life is a teacher to them regardless of race or class. There is a lesson to be learned in everything. Take a young child under your wing and prepare our future to be better, one child at a time. Violence will not solve this issue.

If everyone took an eye for an eye, the whole world would be blind.~Ghandi

Live, Love, Laugh, and Teach...

Socity and you, who's influence matters most?

"9 year old girl gives birth to baby boy"
"23yr old woman is world's youngest grandma"
"Teen Mom show helps reduce teenage pregnancy rates"

"Basket Ball Wives show makes girls stupid"

Everywhere I turn there is a story surrounding a young girl and her sex life. Teen sex and pregnancy is everywhere. And yes, in our society toady it seems to be more readily dealt with although it certainly is not the best thing in the world. Kids have sex. Period. Everyone remember the movie "KIDS"? Or remember when we were 14, 15, 16...right...But that doesn't make it any more right than it has ever been. Teen sex is wrong, but it is ever present in our society and therefore we must deal with it.

Please make no mistake, I am not in favor of waiting for marriage, not at all. I feel people should experience themselves and the world before they settle down. I know first hand that if you don't you will spend many days wondering what it would have been like to live reckless and free, even if for only a short period of time. Young men want to sleep around, young girls want to feel wanted. Attraction, it's powerful wonderful thing.

I'm already digressing, back to the topic...

Also, there is much sensationalism around reality TV. Again, don't get me wrong, I enjoy a good catfight between two girls over the color red or any other trivial thing as much as the next person. However, I do not feel this type of behavior should be displayed so easily in front of kid's faces. Young girls are impressionable. They mimic behavior. We all (girls) have put on our mom's lipstick when we were 2 or 3, and our kids have done it too. It's the cutest thing ever. BUT, realize that your 2 year old already realizes her identity as a girl, and therefore, from watching mommy, knows or feels she is supposed to wear lipstick, and therefore mimics your behavior. Now, cut to your daughter being 9, 10, or 13, or 15, and she is watching Bad Girls or BasketBall Wives. Or maybe she is watching you watch it. Or she is watching it with you. O_o See the correlation?? Your daughter now sees the behavior of these women on TV and will remember and mimic that in various ways. You may be saying to yourself, "not my daughter, I talk to her about how this type of behavior is not acceptable". Ok, but are you watching this show? are you eager to see the next episode or who got into what fight for what reason. Ok so now your daughter has just observed you go right against what you tried to teach her. And guess what kids do or try when you are not watching......O_o that's right, they try or do things that you tell them not to do when your back is turned. After all, if they are good kids they aren't doing it in your face. Don't be a fool sister.

To Summarize...Point Being...

Your child will choose her own path no matter what you teach her. She is an individual, and will exercise that right upon you eventually, more likely sooner than later. That's not to say don't teach her things, that's to say teach her the right things. Set the right example. And don't allow her to grow up too fast. My oldest daughter is 13. She has wanted to get fake acrylic nails since...forever. She has never had them. NEVER. Not even on special occasions. Your real nails are beautiful. You don't need to attract that much attention yourself at such a young age. Why put a big ol' red flag on your daughter? My daughter doesn't wear makeup but I have been known to throw a lil mascara and shadow on her for special events. Not too much, just a little. And I put it on, not because I don't trust her, but because I set the example.

Kids are having sex younger and younger now. Every time I listen to the radio there is not one song that comes on that doesn't deal with a sexual tone. I like the songs, the beats, etc. But I don't play that shit when my kids are in the car. I control their iPod play list. And no, they are not sheltered, they hear those songs anyways & know them without me promoting them to them.

Basically, our kids are going to be exposed to all kinds of things that are bad influences on them no matter what we do as parents. So why be the person to exemplify the wrong kind of behavior to them?

Live, Love, Laugh, Learn & Teach...

Infertile...really?

I came across this article that states young people actually think they are infertile. Although this surprises me, it also does not surprise me in several ways. I have posted the link at the end of this post.

Let's back up and let me preempt this post by saying I am at a cool point in my life right now where I see everything through two sets of eyes. One set that is still in my late teens to early twenties, and one set that is the age I am now (not telling) which of course is more grown up and reasonable.

Ok, back to the article. So the present day me was a little surprised because my rational adult thought when I first read the headline was "You big dummy!" (in my Fred Sanford voice). Of course you are fertile and only when you actually WANT to have a real baby will you realize you were cursed with not being able to do so and that will be because you paid a bunch of money to a doctor to tell you this. Everyone should always assume they are fertile until proven otherwise by a licensed physician.

Now, for the irrational child-like me. Yea, I thought that too, and so did a bunch of my friends when I was younger and dumber. If I had a dime for everyone who told me they couldn't have kids based purely on the fact that they had not had any yet I would be sitting at Trump status. We all thought that too. I still have friends who tell me that just because they have not gotten a girl pregnant yet. I had a bunch of unprotected sex as a teenager and never got preggers...until later.

What is so disturbing about this thought process is that it is sticking. EVERYONE thinks this now. Young people are becoming more and more risky with their behavior and using YOLO for their excuse. For those who don't know YOLO stands for You Only Live Once. This type of lifestyle is ruining our youth and our future. It's corny and old but Whitney said it best, "I believe the children are our future...". What a future we have in front of us with this mind set.

Yes, you only live once, but that is not an excuse or ticket to behave irrationally or irresponsibly. Instead, think of it as a reason to DO IT THE RIGHT WAY and NOT CARELESSLY. Prepare your life so that you can enjoy every aspect of it, instead of rushing into things and dealing with the consequences later. It is much easier to make a plan and stick to it to achieve your goals than to just wander aimlessly and look back at your life in 10 years and wonder why you didn't achieve what you wanted in life.

I wish I could interview some of these kids in 5 or 1o years from now right now. My first questions would be:

1. How'd that face tatt work out for your career?

2. How many kids you got now?

To all my young readers, wake up. Realize that you DO only have one life to live. One life that should be cherished, protected, and honored. TRUST AND BELIEVE life is nothing like a rap video, even for those guys. That's only on the weekends, everyday is everyday, and it's going to be about 4 million (exaggeration) regular days to every 4 rap video days. That's the reality of life. So if you don't want all your regular days to be shitty...wake up, now!

To all my older readers, be a mentor to someone, don't just walk past our youth in the streets and say "it's not my kid". It may not be your kid, but they are someone's kid. If it was my kid I sure hope someone like me would stop and offer a thought provoking conversation that would slap her back into reality. I do it all the time. All the time.

Remember...

Live, love, laugh, learn, & teach!

http://jezebel.com/5883016/young-people-totally-think-theyre-infertile