Socity and you, who's influence matters most?

"9 year old girl gives birth to baby boy"
"23yr old woman is world's youngest grandma"
"Teen Mom show helps reduce teenage pregnancy rates"

"Basket Ball Wives show makes girls stupid"

Everywhere I turn there is a story surrounding a young girl and her sex life. Teen sex and pregnancy is everywhere. And yes, in our society toady it seems to be more readily dealt with although it certainly is not the best thing in the world. Kids have sex. Period. Everyone remember the movie "KIDS"? Or remember when we were 14, 15, 16...right...But that doesn't make it any more right than it has ever been. Teen sex is wrong, but it is ever present in our society and therefore we must deal with it.

Please make no mistake, I am not in favor of waiting for marriage, not at all. I feel people should experience themselves and the world before they settle down. I know first hand that if you don't you will spend many days wondering what it would have been like to live reckless and free, even if for only a short period of time. Young men want to sleep around, young girls want to feel wanted. Attraction, it's powerful wonderful thing.

I'm already digressing, back to the topic...

Also, there is much sensationalism around reality TV. Again, don't get me wrong, I enjoy a good catfight between two girls over the color red or any other trivial thing as much as the next person. However, I do not feel this type of behavior should be displayed so easily in front of kid's faces. Young girls are impressionable. They mimic behavior. We all (girls) have put on our mom's lipstick when we were 2 or 3, and our kids have done it too. It's the cutest thing ever. BUT, realize that your 2 year old already realizes her identity as a girl, and therefore, from watching mommy, knows or feels she is supposed to wear lipstick, and therefore mimics your behavior. Now, cut to your daughter being 9, 10, or 13, or 15, and she is watching Bad Girls or BasketBall Wives. Or maybe she is watching you watch it. Or she is watching it with you. O_o See the correlation?? Your daughter now sees the behavior of these women on TV and will remember and mimic that in various ways. You may be saying to yourself, "not my daughter, I talk to her about how this type of behavior is not acceptable". Ok, but are you watching this show? are you eager to see the next episode or who got into what fight for what reason. Ok so now your daughter has just observed you go right against what you tried to teach her. And guess what kids do or try when you are not watching......O_o that's right, they try or do things that you tell them not to do when your back is turned. After all, if they are good kids they aren't doing it in your face. Don't be a fool sister.

To Summarize...Point Being...

Your child will choose her own path no matter what you teach her. She is an individual, and will exercise that right upon you eventually, more likely sooner than later. That's not to say don't teach her things, that's to say teach her the right things. Set the right example. And don't allow her to grow up too fast. My oldest daughter is 13. She has wanted to get fake acrylic nails since...forever. She has never had them. NEVER. Not even on special occasions. Your real nails are beautiful. You don't need to attract that much attention yourself at such a young age. Why put a big ol' red flag on your daughter? My daughter doesn't wear makeup but I have been known to throw a lil mascara and shadow on her for special events. Not too much, just a little. And I put it on, not because I don't trust her, but because I set the example.

Kids are having sex younger and younger now. Every time I listen to the radio there is not one song that comes on that doesn't deal with a sexual tone. I like the songs, the beats, etc. But I don't play that shit when my kids are in the car. I control their iPod play list. And no, they are not sheltered, they hear those songs anyways & know them without me promoting them to them.

Basically, our kids are going to be exposed to all kinds of things that are bad influences on them no matter what we do as parents. So why be the person to exemplify the wrong kind of behavior to them?

Live, Love, Laugh, Learn & Teach...

Infertile...really?

I came across this article that states young people actually think they are infertile. Although this surprises me, it also does not surprise me in several ways. I have posted the link at the end of this post.

Let's back up and let me preempt this post by saying I am at a cool point in my life right now where I see everything through two sets of eyes. One set that is still in my late teens to early twenties, and one set that is the age I am now (not telling) which of course is more grown up and reasonable.

Ok, back to the article. So the present day me was a little surprised because my rational adult thought when I first read the headline was "You big dummy!" (in my Fred Sanford voice). Of course you are fertile and only when you actually WANT to have a real baby will you realize you were cursed with not being able to do so and that will be because you paid a bunch of money to a doctor to tell you this. Everyone should always assume they are fertile until proven otherwise by a licensed physician.

Now, for the irrational child-like me. Yea, I thought that too, and so did a bunch of my friends when I was younger and dumber. If I had a dime for everyone who told me they couldn't have kids based purely on the fact that they had not had any yet I would be sitting at Trump status. We all thought that too. I still have friends who tell me that just because they have not gotten a girl pregnant yet. I had a bunch of unprotected sex as a teenager and never got preggers...until later.

What is so disturbing about this thought process is that it is sticking. EVERYONE thinks this now. Young people are becoming more and more risky with their behavior and using YOLO for their excuse. For those who don't know YOLO stands for You Only Live Once. This type of lifestyle is ruining our youth and our future. It's corny and old but Whitney said it best, "I believe the children are our future...". What a future we have in front of us with this mind set.

Yes, you only live once, but that is not an excuse or ticket to behave irrationally or irresponsibly. Instead, think of it as a reason to DO IT THE RIGHT WAY and NOT CARELESSLY. Prepare your life so that you can enjoy every aspect of it, instead of rushing into things and dealing with the consequences later. It is much easier to make a plan and stick to it to achieve your goals than to just wander aimlessly and look back at your life in 10 years and wonder why you didn't achieve what you wanted in life.

I wish I could interview some of these kids in 5 or 1o years from now right now. My first questions would be:

1. How'd that face tatt work out for your career?

2. How many kids you got now?

To all my young readers, wake up. Realize that you DO only have one life to live. One life that should be cherished, protected, and honored. TRUST AND BELIEVE life is nothing like a rap video, even for those guys. That's only on the weekends, everyday is everyday, and it's going to be about 4 million (exaggeration) regular days to every 4 rap video days. That's the reality of life. So if you don't want all your regular days to be shitty...wake up, now!

To all my older readers, be a mentor to someone, don't just walk past our youth in the streets and say "it's not my kid". It may not be your kid, but they are someone's kid. If it was my kid I sure hope someone like me would stop and offer a thought provoking conversation that would slap her back into reality. I do it all the time. All the time.

Remember...

Live, love, laugh, learn, & teach!

http://jezebel.com/5883016/young-people-totally-think-theyre-infertile

Satisfaction...

Satisfaction...
Sometimes that is a hard word for me. Whether or not you are satisfied with something is such a relative thing. Two people can experience the same thing and one can feel satisfied and the other not. Today I want to talk about satisfaction with life as a whole. Are you satisfied? If not, what would make you satisfied?
Satisfaction can come in many forms, a job, money, love. For me satisfaction is deeply rooted in my happiness. Am I happy with my life, how it is at the moment, how I think it will turn out, etc. Sometimes I feel as if there is something missing in my life, something that I am not satisfied with, and yet I cannot put my finger on what this item is. What would make my life complete?
A different job, or the job of my dreams would make my life complete. I would be able to make enough money to support my family and would wake up eager to go to work everyday. But, isn't that what everyone wants? It would also make me happy if my daughters were straight A students in honor classes, or if I had enough money to buy the things that I want without a care in the world.
But would those things really satisfy me? I'm not so sure. I think once those wants were met, I would want for something else. So does that mean I am never satisfied? I cannot agree with that either because I know there are things in my life that I am satisfied with.
When I talk to my brother about these feelings, he tries to put things into perspective for me. there are people out there with no job, mothers with no help from family, no father for their children, no car, no job, no education, no health care. I have a little something of all these things. I have a job, even though I do not like it. I have family help, though limited at times and rightly so. I have a husband who has always been here for me and my children and who fixes my car whenever it needs it. I have a decent education, my children are getting good educations, and I am currently enrolled in school now. I have insurance on myself and the kids. What else could I want? What could be more satisfying?
When he tells me these things it makes me feel bad because I know he is 100% right. So again, for me, I think my unsatisfaction is more deeply rooted. When I tell my best friend about these feelings, he says I am still looking for something. Something I have not filled or found yet, and only I can figure out what it is. So, I began a personal journey to try to discover this missing link in my life. Many suggestions come to mind right away. Is it closure, friendship, intimacy, acceptance? While I think I am searching for certain things within those categories, I also think that is not "it".
I was watching an episode of LA Ink a couple of nights ago. I do like this show, although I am not an avid viewer of any show. I don't record them or set special time aside for them because I feel real life is more interesting. But when I am in my bed, restless and awake at 2a.m. and there is a marathon on, I watch. So in this episode a girl got a tattoo that said "Fortes fortuna adiuvat" which means Fortune Favors the Bold. She said she had always wanted to do cool stuff like race cars, bikes, etc, and she realized one day if she wanted to do those things she just had to be bold and go out and do them, they were not going to come to her.
That's when it hit me. What's missing, what my dissatisfaction is. It's my career. I never did what I wanted to really do when I grew up. And my inner soul has been trying to get me to realize this. this is my missing piece to my puzzle, my something that I am still searching for. And yet, now that I know for sure what it is, it seems even farther away. I want to work in the water, with the water, and the creatures of the water. Outside. Wet. Cold. All things I do no necessarily care for...and yet will not be happy in my life without them. Funny isn't it?
So, I became bold, changed my major, signed up for my first class, and researched a scholarship I will apply for next year. I may be at the beginning of the race...but I am bold enough to not waste anymore time and get it started. You should too...
Live, Love, Laugh, Learn, and Teach!
~AprilFresh